First, for the No-Mo's in my audience, a clarification. If I cornered you on the street and asked, "What do you know about Mormons?", you'd probably answer with one of a couple options. Polygamy maybe. Or Utah. But most likely, you'd say something along the lines of "Don't drink, don't smoke, what do ya do?"*. That's where I'm heading with this. Mormon doctrine contains what we call "The Word of Wisdom" which we believe is the Lord's principle concerning what we take into our bodies. We don't use tobacco, don't drink alcohol, coffee, or tea. Some take that to mean caffeine, some don't, it's kind of left to personal interpretation, but the official word from the church is that we avoid addiction in any form. This principle isn't just a list of "no's" it's also guidance about what we should take into our bodies as well. Lots of plants, not much meat, and get plenty of exercise. Basically the advice any nutritionist would give. There are lots of different interpretations of why the list of "no's" exists. Personally, I think it's because those things, including coffee and tea, can take our focus away from the Lord. When we wake up, is our first thought, "I need my coffee" or is it "I should pray and talk to God this morning"? Same with smoking or drinking, when something bad happens, is our thought, "I need a smoke and a glass of wine" or is it "I should talk to God and find peace through him"? That's my interpretation, and it works for me.
Now here's where I confess my sins...
I drink a big 'ole glass of tea in the mornings. *Pause for the horror reaction faces* I can hear you now, "you are a good Mormon girl Michelle! Married in the temple! You go to church every Sunday! How could you!?!" So let me explain...
I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager. Most of the time, it's manageable. Sometimes, it's bad. Like, really bad. Like, can't take care of myself or my children bad. And one of my big symptoms is fatigue. Sleep all day fatigue. But it doesn't start that way. When it's manageable, I might take a nap while the kids are at school, or just go to bed early. I can feel that I'm moving into a bad time when I get really tired. When those naps become longer, and more frequent. Then I feel even worse because I'm not taking care of my family, which just makes me want to sleep more. BUT, if I can somehow stop the cycle, I can usually avoid a bad spell. Which brings me to the tea. It keeps me awake. I am fairly sensitive to caffeine, and it works for me. I can stay with small naps, and most days, avoid the nap completely. And I know it sounds crazy, but if I can stay awake, and take care of my family, I can keep the bad depression away. I can function.
Now, some of you are saying, "Girl, you should try X anti-depressant" or "Why aren't you in therapy?". First off, I've tried quite a few anti-depressants and they don't work particularly well. And the side effects SUCK. I'm not opposed to taking prescription meds, I believe in modern medicine. Not interested in homeopathy. But I also think that if you can find something simple, that works, then that's the best option. Why should I take drugs that change my brain chemistry, when a simple stimulant does the trick? Second, I've tried therapy. In fact, it was a therapist who suggested the stimulant. I've tried weekly therapy, but with 3 kids, finding a time to go without taking at least one of them is about impossible. It takes time to find the right therapist, and with as much as we move, it's a challenge. If I thought it would help, I'd do it, but I'm not convinced I can find someone who won't just give me pills. And not to mention, I've already found something that works.
I've been drinking tea in the morning for about 10 months, and have not had a bad episode in the entire time. Is it 100% effective? Maybe? I don't know, and I don't think it will be in the long term. But it's working for now. Being awake means that I can deal with the negative feelings, I have the time and energy to write and explore my feelings. I can read my scriptures and pray, taking care of myself and my spiritual needs. Some might take issue with the way that I am managing my health, and I'm OK with that. I don't feel any guilt. I feel like I am obeying a higher law, taking care of myself, being able to serve others and take care of my family. And I feel like the Lord is OK with that too.
*10 points if you can name that tune!
